Seasonal Greetings

I was going to wish a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone, but wasn't sure if this would conflict with the diversity and equality agenda that prevails across the public sector. I think the following greeting is about as politically correct as I can make it, though I'm sure someone will tell me if rget think otherwise!

 

Please accept with no obligation, implicit or implied my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . .

 

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A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have made Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country, or is the only "BRITAIN" on the planet,) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, or religious faith of the wishee.

 

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

 

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.